It’s like when someone says, “how are you?”
Do you say that you’re head is pounding
And your world is collapsing
And all you can do is watch helplessly
As it crumbles down on your feet
Or do you say that you’re fine?
Hi, hello. I just wanted to make you guys know that I’m still alive. 😂✌As much as I wanted to update my blog every once in a while, I don’t really have much to update you about. I hope my life is at the very least half as interesting as all of yours are but unfortunately, most of my summer days are spent here in my prison cell aka my room. I’ve also been trying to write stuff but nothing comes to mind. :( Anyways, I might be away for the next two weeks. (I’m finally getting out of my room, this is a BIG achievement) I hope I don’t get loads of unfollowers this time.
Opo, nabasa ko na din yun haha :) ang gandaaaaa nga eh ❤
You said you were okay”,
You bit your lip
And looked away,
Eyes brimmed with tears.
"I did not lie
You just didn’t listen
You did care
Just not enough”,
I wanted to tell you
But I doubt
You would hear me
From six feet under the ground
Just the simple act of getting out of bed had become a very hard task
my mother must be so proud of her lazy, rebellious, anxiety-ridden, depressed child
idk seems like everyone i trust never fail to disappoint me in the end. idek who’s real and who’s not anymore. i feel like i’m surrounded by fake people. but anyway, i’m going to pray for that too and thanks for taking the time to write all that. :D
God knows how hard I’ve tried to see the good in people. And just when I’m finally about to get there, life somehow managed to drag me back to where I started. And never in a billion years would I dare step forward. I don’t have the strength to be positive anymore. I don’t posses enough stupidity to just keep trusting people.
Can you ever really know a person? The answer is NO. That was what life taught me last night. And I swear to God, I will never EVER trust anybody again. I mean it. I fucking do.
I remember how when I was younger, I would feel sorry for my friends whose families are broken. How I would look up to single parents and admire them for being so strong. Funny how life decided to do a 180 and it’s now my turn to watch as my family is being ripped apart.
I honestly can’t remember the first time I realized that my family was broken. I grew up in a house wherein kissing, hugging or even just showing a tiny bit of affection towards your spouse isn’t a normal thing. I grew up in a house wherein sleeping in separate beds, not saying a thing to your partner from the moment you wake up to the moment you sleep, partners acting as if the other does not exist define the term NORMAL.
We’ve always had this one simple rule we live by— when things go wrong, SILENT TREATMENT is always the solution. I’ve always kept my mouth shut regarding my parents getting a divorce but then things got to this point— the choosing part. I knew this is something inevitable. I knew my brother and I would have to undergo this horrible pressure of choosing sooner or later. And I made my decision a long time ago. I would always pick my mom but the thing is, my dad won’t let us go. And now my mom’s hiring some lawyer to deal with things I don’t even understand. Mom says if dad won’t give in, she’d have to leave us for a while just to make dad realize what life’s going to be like without her. I don’t know if I can live without my mom.
For the first time in my seventeen years of existence, my family made me cry (ang baduy kasi, sheeet) I wasn’t even crying because i’m oh-so-emotionally-hurt-that-my-parents-are-getting-a-divorce-and-i-love-my-mummy-and-daddy-huhuhu. It was because I felt like some toy being fought over by two kids. I’m helplessly stuck in the middle right now and I have no idea what to do
Two Will Graysons. Two authors. Two writing styles.
I was just looking for my next john green or david levithan book (I’m determined to read everything by them cuz they’ve never disappointed me. Not yet, at least) and I was lucky enough to stumble upon a book written by BOTH OF THEM. I got super excited and started reading as soon as I got out of the book store.
And to tell you the truth, it was awesoooooome. I’ve never read a book as good as this in a long time. I mean what the hell do you expect when two of your favorite authors collaborate?
I loved how the novel was both hilarious and emotional at the same time. I found myself laughing out loud a lot of times and I swear, it earned me weird stares from my family. Anyway, I also loved reading from two perspectives. I can actually see myself in John Green’s Will. I can relate to his don’t care too much and shut up rule although my favorite character would have to be the fabulous TINY COOPER, the world’s largest person who is really, really gay and also the world’s gayest person who is really, really large. I don’t want to spoil things for you, guys so I’m now going to end this book review slash nonsense ranting.
Mostly tangina talaga.
♫ But she can’t be what you need if she’s 17. THEY’RE JUST GIRLS ♫
Is that why you didn’t notice me in the crowd? Is it because i’m 17? Am I too young for you? Although it has been 4 days already, I’m still a little (okay not a little, but VERY) pissed off cuz I didnt get the chance to take a pic of myself with Matty :( but anyways, I’m still HAPPY that I got to see him and the rest of the boys. I just lose every sanity in me every time Matty does the head bang or when he simply runs his hand through his hair. I’ve never seen someone as hot as matthew healy i just don’t understand!! Just before they sang sex, they were like, “so, this would be our last song for tonight” and deep down I was like </3 and my brother was the opposite he was like, “oh god last song! YES! Can’t wait til I finally get to sit down I’m just so tired!” I wanted to punch him right in the face for being such a dick. So to sum it all up, IT WAS AN AMAZING NIGHT. Matty said they’re definitely going back. I’m totally going to pay any amount just to see you again.
001// Report cards were released today so I had to go to school. I finally got to see these girls for the first time in two weeks (or three?)
002// My grades were okay.. not bad, i suppose. I was even informed that I’m qualified for the scolarship thing but idk I still feel bad about myself cuz I know I could’ve done better. Lately (and when I say lately, I mean ever since I started college) I’ve been feeling completely unmotivated to do any studying. Sometimes I’d take quizzes without even studying for them. That wasn’t something I could ever do way back high school. I don’t know what happened to me. All I know is that I could’ve done better and I WILL do much better next school year.
003// We headed straight to the mall and bought clothes and did some food tripping and in a matter of hours, my wallet was already empty. Not even a single paper bill, only few coins. 3 So, we were walking past boutiques when this yummy looking cheesecake caught my eye. I couldn’t hide my food lust and the next thing I knew, HG was already on the counter, actually buying the cake— not a slice of cake but the whole cake. I was even more surprised when she handed me the paper bag with the cake inside. :”> and this is why I love HG. Not because she treats me all the time (in my defense, I treat her sometimes too), but because she’s always been SO SWEET to me— always giving me hugs and kisses and whatnots.
PS, I’m straight haha